i’ve sold and optioned feature screenplays to Intermedia Films, Lakeshore Entertainment, Adelson Entertainment and was a finalist in the Sundance Screenwriters Lab. I’m a former staff writer for HBO’s Comedy Channel and wrote  promotional jokes for David Letterman.  I was represented by the William Morris Agency and Innovative Artists.

AVAILABLE SCRIPTS

FLINCH

2006 - Semi finalist in the Writers Network 13th Annual Screenplay Competition

(Romantic tragicomedy)

When it comes to guitars and women, rock musician, JOHNNY AMERICA is a great player. On the road to breaking his 500th heart, he encounters WEB, an alluring psychotherapist who uses her analytic skills to control the men she dates. When these two charismatic players shack up for a one-night-stand, it spirals into a Mexican stand-off to see who’s heart will “flinch” first.

As Johnny and Web unravel each other’s self-esteem, they cause the interconnected hearts of every character in this story dangle like yo-yos from their fingers.

Edgy and full of off-color comedy, this amphetamine-paced, modern-day “Dangerous Liaisons” will feature an indie soundtrack (demos of which have already been recorded).

THE EXISTENTIAL WOMAN

2006 - Finalist in the Writers Network 13th Annual Screenplay Competition

(Dark comedy)

An indictment of bad television, academia, the 80’s and obsessive love.  It’s an “Annie Hall” for a new generation.

A “period piece”, THE EXISTENTIAL WOMAN takes place in New York City, 1989. PANE is a vitriolic, jaded comedy writer -- and he’s only 25. Convinced he has to be miserable to be funny, he deprives himself of all life’s comforts.  Although he writes for a spineless basic cable show called “Scout’s Honor”, Pane is driven to have his own outlandishly edgy TV series some day.  With this in mind, he pushes the limits by writing irreverent, off-color scripts. The trouble is, it’s 1989.  Edgy humor isn’t coming of age in America for another 10 years. None of his shows are getting approved.

One day he meets IVY, an attractive philosophy student.  Ivy’s writing her existentialism thesis on the nature of love.  Like Pane, she’s constantly fighting her superiors – in this case, her widely published Professor, an egocentric “celebrity” in the philosophy world who’s ultra-critical of her utopian notions of love. He should know - he used to date her. 

Upon meeting, there is an instant repulsion between Pane and Ivy, as Pane’s pure comedy and Ivy’s pure intellect clash like fire and ice. Not only is she not amused by Pane’s almost Tourette’s-like sarcasm reflex, but she’s appalled to find he’s a chronic kleptomaniac.  Their differences however, soon flower into an odd magnetism.

Can’t give away the hook of the story here on the web.....The strength is in the absurd details as well as Pane’s caustically witty voice.

Full of absurd New York characters and “Annie Hall” type commentary, “The Existential Woman” is New York City in the late 1980’s, seen through the merciless lens of a young man too funny for his own good.

RAT GIRL

Sold script to MPH Entertainment in Burbank, CA:

Company website: http://www.mphent.com/index.html

Currently seeking co-producers and director.

Based on the 30 minute 16mm short film I wrote and directed:

(CLICK to watch scene)

Rat Girl is a dark, dysfunctional romantic comedy with a unique blend of self-mocking irony, tragedy and sheer heart. It’s “Ghost World” meets “Pollock”.

JORDAN is an introverted abstract painter with a disastrous love life. As each date ends in alienation, he retreats to his hermetic world of paintings. His solitude is interrupted however by a wrong number call from GINGER, a desperate nineteen year old who threatens to kill herself if Jordan doesn't meet her for lunch.

They meet. She's beautiful. She’s electrifying. She’s also on Lithium, self deprecating, and has an unusual pet.

Can’t give away more of the plot but Rat Girl is an irreverent, emotionally-charged film that indicts the pretentious New York art scene. It’s a humorous journey into 20-something neurosis that spirals to a white-knuckled conclusion.

HOW DONNA AND I DESTROYED THE WORLD

Previously optioned to Adelson Entertainment as well as Intermedia Films as a project for Ryan Phillippe.

Has since been re-written.

A surreal, comical love story of disaster-movie proportions.  “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” meets “Sid and Nancy”.

Unable to divulge the plot here in order to protect the concept. It’s been optioned a number of times but this script didn’t feel comfortable with those producers, and the rights have reverted back to it’s master.

MURDER AT THE PUBLIC ACCESS AWARDS

Co-written by Ron Maddock.

A mockumentary detailing the events leading up to a murder on live TV at the annual Public Access People’s Choice Awards.

Set in the fictitious small town of Cigarette, NJ, this is “Waiting for Guffman” meets “Nashville”. Attention-craving, small-town nobodies back-stab their way to the bottom in a hilarious struggle to eclipse each other in the People’s Choice Awards.

Since the title gives away the ending, we’re left guessing which “star” will resort to murder as the plot catapults to a frenzied climax.  This script was purposely written to be produced ultra-low budget.

If all the real stars are on network TV, then public access is for supernovas.

THE PIRATE & THE PRINCESS

Big-budget dramatic comedy about an escaped political prisoner on a fictitious Caribbean island who believes he’s a pirate. He kidnaps a loud-mouthed tourist from her suburban family and embarks on a high-seas adventure. An absurd and inventive comedy about liberation from jail, oppressive regimes, family and sanity. 

If I had my wish, Terry Gilliam would direct it.

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